Still Alive

You had to be kidding me! The way she went on and on about him even though she knew. She knew that I still loved him.

The envy burned a hole in my gut at the realization he liked her better than me. To him I was only a toy. Someone he could manipulate and play with only to discard once he had his fix. Even when I had seen him earlier he could only talk about her. How much he liked her. Asking if she had said anything about him. About them. Like they were a couple already! I so badly wanted to vomit at his feet. Instead, I looked up into his icy blue eyes, oh how they had once made my heart melt, and said, “I am so happy for you. No really. I am so glad you found someone just like you.” Only I could taste the tangy, sour venom on my tongue, for he only sighed with relief.

I looked back at her, her childish face bubbling with excitement. I knew he wouldn’t break her heart. Not the way he had mine when he tore it to pieces and fed it to the flames like wood pulp. Well, maybe not on his own. I took a hold of her arm and she beamed down at me unknowingly. I told her all about the talk him and I had, exaggerating only where necessary, and maybe adding in a few white lies. After telling her all about how he had come on to me, kissing me, even though he said he wanted to be with her, she went rigid. I watched as her shoulders sagged and her entire face went dark. Her mouth askew with the thought while her wide eyes stared out into open space. Eventually she let herself crumble. Each tear snaking down her cheek was a droplet of triumph. Suppressing the urge to smile, I wrapped her into the safe haven of my arms. I cooed into her ear while smoothing down strands of her red hair. “He is so dead to me,” she gurgled through sobs.

“It’s OK. We’re alive.”

I’m alive.

Another concoction of listen & write (Portal~Still Alive) apparently from a video game as my fiance informed me ;p I had fun writing a little more devious piece considering I would never be able to be that mean to someone. The guilt would probably eat me alive. But it did come from a little bit of personal experience, just with a twist ;]

Published by Mercedes Moore

Hi, I'm Mercedes Moore. I'm a stay-at-home mom of two, author, and fitness professional. My main goal, however, is to connect with other moms and provide a safe space for us to grow and learn together.

7 thoughts on “Still Alive

  1. 😀 Loved it, and I think you pulled it off better than me. I think I go overboard on the lyrics a bit, but it doesn’t feel like that when I’m writing. Anywhoo, yes, it is from a video game. You should play it, it’s AMAZING. Cake is a lie, pi is forever ;). The computer tries to kill you after promising you cake a grief counseling after the completion of every level. It’s like a 3D Paganitzu.

    Isn’t it fun to be dark sometimes? Your post reminded me a bit of Make it or Break it Season 1. A little curious what the personal part was, but I won’t push if it’s private.

    1. Oh it is quite fun to walk on the dark side every now and then :p but there was no way i pulled it off better than you, yours gave me chills right up and down my spine. It was a masterpiece and I really enjoy the way you incorporated the lyrics right into the story. ;] But I am quite happy that you enjoyed it!!

      Maybe my fiance has the game lying around somewhere…will have to ask !

      1. oh and the personal part was basically all of it up to where the main character lies to her friend. I had been with a guy who unfortunately was a big part of my life, mainly because when ever he was around trouble always seemed to follow. But she knew everything I had went through with this kid and still went all goo-goo over him. Made me so mad. I hardly blame her now tho. 1)she was younger than me, and acted it. 2) he had a way of getting girls to fall for his facade.

    1. I am glad you enjoyed it 😀

      It is kind of sad that these stories come from a real place, but without those experiences what would we have?

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