To Be New

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Your rays of heat

Melt the snow from me

Spring came too late

But I cannot wait-

I need to breathe

My lungs aren’t working…

I am still cold…

I need to come alive

I need to come to life

I need to…

I need you…

To lift me up

Into the sun

And watch me bloom

Until the

Moon wans

Like a lonely swan

I bow my head in shame

The light’s been gone

For so damn long

That it hurts

When you look my way…

I am still cold…

I need to be alive

I need the warmth inside

I need to feel

I need to heal

These blackened wounds

That prevent me to bloom

I will mend them

Soon I’ll have no excuse

For my selfish ties

When day does come

And spring has begun

I will know

To say goodbye

I need to say goodbye

I need to come to life

I need to…

I need to…

I need to feel the heart

Beating at the core

Of the earth

And I will be new

I will be new

Again.

Why do you do this to me?

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A song that I just wrote. Probably one of my most emotional ones in like forever. I was basically crying while writing this. So, thanks to Chester See who’s music inspired me to write this song which has been haunting me.

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I thought I was over you

I thought I was free

But when I saw your face

Smiling back at me

My wounds began to open

My heart beat too fast

I gripped onto his hand

And hoped the feeling wouldn’t last

*

{Chorus}

There’s a pit in my stomach

Growing with each passing second

My limbs begin to quiver and I’m sure I’m going to faint

I’ve acquired a fever and my body aches

I think I’m going to throw-up

Why do you do this to me?

*

When I saw you standing there

Your blue eyes looked at me

My heart began thumping wildly inside my chest

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t I can’t breathe.

*

{Chorus}

There’s a pit in my stomach

Growing with each passing second

My limbs begin to quiver and I’m sure I’m going to faint

I’ve acquired a fever and my body aches

I think I’m going to throw-up

Why do you do this to me?

*

I’m just trying to get it down on paper

I can’t explain

The effect you have over me

Every time I see you any progress that I have made has been erased

I can’t even think.

Why am I so darn weak?

*

I hate that I can’t let you go

I hate that I will never know

What we could have been.

I hate the way you smile

I hate how your eyes twinkle

But worst of all

I hate that he knows.

*

{Chorus}

There’s a pit in my stomach

Growing with each passing second

My limbs begin to quiver and I’m sure I’m going to faint

I’ve acquired a fever and my body aches

I think I’m going to throw-up

Why do you do this to me?

x2

*

Why can’t I let you go?

Years of rejection, you think I would know

How to finally move on

How to say goodbye

We no longer speak

But still, in your hands my heart lies.

       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~