Wildest Dreams- Drive

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When I asked where we were going, Mr. Prent replied, “Let’s get out of this town; drive out of the city, just… get away from these crowds of students and teachers…” And witnesses.

“I like the sound of that.”

So we went on a long drive. No destination in sight. Maybe Mr. Prent got the feeling too. He has somewhere- he didn’t know where yet, that he had to go.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I woke in the passenger seat, but Mr. Prent was laying in the bed of his truck, staring into the stars. I climbed out, realizing we were in a cemetery. Of all places to go, I wondered, why there?

Not that I cared. I am the picnic in the cemetery kind of gal. But she strongly advised against it- like everything else- and suggested I find more “appropriate” interests.

I wonder if she would have found this appropriate.

I didn’t say anything. Mr. Prent just looked so far away; deep in some other world. Instead, I laid there next to him. The cool metal sent chills up my spine and I shivered in the warm autumn night. Wordlessly, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I layed my head on his chest. His cologne reminded me of a cool¬†ocean breeze that swallows you whole… his scent is still in my hair.

I’m not sure how long we laid like that for. I started off counting seconds in his heartbeats. One, two, three, fo-ur, fivesix, seven, eight, nine, tah-en. But doing that only made me sleepy. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to hold this moment in the now and have it last forever.

I should know better than anyone, nothing lasts forever. Especially not happiness. I was happy once-upon-a-time. When I had parents- real ones- but it was so long ago it feels like a dream. Or a nightmare.

I guess he knows about this too. It was the cemetery where both his father and brother were buried. A robbery gone wrong. Mr. Prent was in college. His mother was grocery shopping. To come home and see her son and husband askew on the kitchen floor. I could just imagine her walking into the house, wondering why the door was already open. She’s talking to them- not knowing they can’t hear- going on about a great special she got at the market. Then she sees them. The blood. And bags fall out of her hands in slow-motion… It’s all a little too familiar.


A passage of Wildest Dreams & a picture It & Write inspiration!

Wildest Dreams: Midnight

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man_in_the_suit_by_apaxngh-d5ij9n0

Dear Journal,

It was midnight. I was up like usual, writing that poem on the left page. It was a Saturday, so I knew I wouldn’t hear from him. Weekends are the hardest. They linger like an unpleasant odor. Soured like rotten milk. And my guts feel like twisted steel. Most Saturdays I spend biting my tongue so hard it bleeds, just to keep from crying. I spend Saturdays wondering why I had to fall in love with a man I couldn’t have.

I heard the familiar sound of tires against asphalt, but when I pushed the blinds aside, I couldn’t see anything through the sheets of white rain; no headlights. I wasn’t expecting him to be knocking at my door just moments later. But there he was. White collared shirt, black vest, and gray tie. He looked like he did everyday in class. So handsome. He loomed over my in my doorway, his sleek black hair dripping over the threshold, a drop even plopped right down onto my big toe. There was a darkness overcasting his face like a shadow, but his brown eyes glowed like a shooting star. “I, I shouldn’t be here.” His voice vibrated through my chest like thunder. I couldn’t even open my mouth. What was he doing here, I kept wondering. Even after his right foot stepped in through the doorway and his strong hands cupped my face. I kept wondering even when his lips met mine and they were hard, and cold like ice, but melted into liquid under mine.

His tongue tasted like candy apples. And all I could think about was the time at the carnival with Bobbi- but that was a different time. This was now. It was happening. The very thing I had been dreaming about since the moment I saw Mr. Prent in Global history. Since the moment my name was uttered through those perfect peachy lips of his.

It was all so hot, and I mean literally hot. Clothes felt like thermal heating fabrics wrapped around my limbs. They itched like bugs crawling all over my skin. Like that time I sat on a red ant hill and was bit all over… Focus… We ripped our clothes off, freeing ourselves of the constraint and somehow we found the bedroom. Somehow we found eachother. Somehow… We managed to fit.

This morning was bittersweet. I watched Jon dress, my chest tightening. Don’t cry, I kept telling myself. Don’t cry. He stood in front of the window, the faintest light shining through the blinds as the sun began to rise. His black hair, even after patting it down, was still askew. I resisted the urge to touch him. Like maybe he wasn’t really here. Maybe he wasn’t.

After looking out at the parking lot, he turned back to me. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

I smiled- or something like it- to cover my trembling bottom lip.

“I’m sorry.”

I nodded.

He kissed my forehead. Then turned to leave. I reached out for his hand. Savoring his warmth… But I couldn’t say what I wanted. Don’t go. Stay with me. I love you. Instead, I watched him leave.

It was the best. And the worst.

Another Picture It & Write inspiration!

Confession

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The words written on your lips
Were nothing but a murmur
When I read what they said
My heart stuttered
A response got caught inside my chest
I looked back at you, out of breath
When I saw your smile
Time slowed down
I could hear nothing
But the echo of my voice
Did you mean it?
Was all I could ask
You answered with a simple
Yes
Then my head went faint
And my heart sputtered back to life
I love you too
I replied

Mouth To Mouth

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The way you look at me

With those big brown eyes

Makes my stomach dance

Makes my head light.

When your skin brushes against mine

I know I’m in too deep

Because my lungs get tied

My tongue grows weak.

And when you pull me in close

I know there’s no escape

Because when we’re mouth to mouth

You steal my breath away

What Do We Live For?

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~

I’m pathetic

Gotta quit this

Delusional life

The hunger the strife.

~

Such a coward

Such a failure

Do you ever wonder

What is it for?

~

What do we live for?

~

{Chorus}

Do we live for love?

Do we live for success?

Do we live for the hunger, the pain?

Why is it so mundane?

Do we live for love?

And if so what kind?

Do we want passionate, romance, sweep-you-off-your-feet

Or something in between?

~

Never worth it

Always forfeit

To second best

Can’t give it a rest.

~

I’m tired

Can’t keep it up

I try so hard

Just to give up

~

Why am I always trying so hard?

~

{chorus}

Do we live for love?

Do we live for success?

Do we live for the hunger, the pain?

Why is it so mundane?

Do we live for love?

And if so what kind?

Do we want passionate, romance, sweep-you-off-your-feet

Or something in between?

~

Always giving up

Always getting in my way

Never get a chance to say what I want to say

(What I want to say)

But it’s too late now

Missed my chance

Want hard as hell

To get it back

(Can’t get it back)

Can’t change the past

Can’t go back

But where am I supposed to go

When I’ve messed things up this bad?

~

What am I here for?

~

Am I here for love?

Am I here for success?

Am I here for the hunger, the pain?

Why is it so mundane?

Am I here for love?

And if so what kind?

Do I want passionate, romance, sweep-you-off-your-feet?

Or something in between?