Feels Like Home

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It took you about fifteen minutes to park, I kept busy by writing in my notebook, trying to get all my ideas down on paper so I wouldn’t forget later; because let’s admit it, I always forget come later.

You ease yourself into a parking spot that anyone else would have had trouble with.

We climb out of the car and are welcomed by the ninety-seven degree heat. We embark on our journey just down the road until we hit sand. Immediately, we are greeted with the scent of sunblock and the view of the sun glistening over the ocean ripples.

“Look at the waves,” you awed. They came up in the distance only to break, crashing down just before the shore. I ran off ahead. My right foot stepped into water first. It was chilly, then warm. Each step took me deeper and deeper as the water slapped against me. Then, when I was in shoulders deep, I turned to watch you run through the sand and into the ocean. A big smile on your face as your thick, dark brown hair caught in the wind making you look a joyous and oblivious as a little kid.

A big wave came curling up from behind me. I jumped, with my arms out before me, and rode it into shore to meet up with you. You take me in your strong arms, pulling me against your bare chest, and with my legs wrapped around your waist, you carry me out deeper. Small waves come and go and we hop to float over them, watching them roll to shore.

I’m happy here. In the warm water, under the hot southern sun, with you. It feels like home.

A big wave comes and you throw me over. For a brief second, I’m free-falling, then I hit and sink and laugh. Another one comes and I let it carry me away.

You chose to be defiant. Stand your ground. The waves crash into you and you never falter. Your hazel eyes are locked onto me, squinting in the sunlight. Your pink lips are tight, determined. Your hair is so dark from being wet that it almost looks black and it’s all disheveled from the ocean water beating against you. And the best part about it is, you don’t even know how sexy you look just then.

But I do.

And being here with you, in this new place, it feels like home.

Another Picture it & Write inspiration!

Rust Away

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I used to think sadness was love
That needing someone was the same as longing for their touch
I used to think I would never be good enough
For anyone because no one could make the sacrifices I was

Stuck outside, ready to rust away
When you came by, sheltered me from the rain
You looked in my eyes and said it would be okay.
And for the first time, I wasn’t worried.Rust Away

I used to believe pain was happiness
Because feeling anything was better than the emptiness
I used to believe I was destined for loneliness
Because no one would let me inside of them

I was stuck outside, ready to rust away
When you came by, sheltered me from
the rain
You looked in my eyes and said it would be okay.
And for the first time, I wasn’t afraid.

For the first time, I’m not alone.
For the first time, I have hope.
For the first time…
For the very first time…

I was stuck outside, ready to rust away
When you came by, sheltered me from the rain
You looked in my eyes and said it would be okay.

It had been all night, was sure I’d rust red
When you brought your light, taught me to shine instead
You took my heart inside of your hand
And for the first time I know what happiness is.

The Last Time

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He found himself at her door. Like so many times before. But he couldn’t remember how he got there. It seemed all roads lead to her.

It was a warm but cool night. He could taste its humidity on his tongue.

Had he walked? Did he drive? He couldn’t remember. Nor could he tear his eyes off of the front door to look for clues. It stood before him tall and looming. The white paint glowed in the darkness like a lantern. He couldn’t even bring himself to knock.

Would she answer if he did? She was probably in her room, all alone, asleep. She probably wouldn’t even hear him.

He whispered her name.

She could feel his call lingering like a sigh through her bones.

She could hear his heart thumping like a jack-rabbit just beyond her front door. If she laid still enough, maybe he would leave. Leave her home. Leave her memory.

“Cecilia.”

She found herself unlocking the front door like she had been in some sort of hypnotic trance.

Their eyes met.

Her heart stopped.

His heart slowed down.

It felt better just to see her face again. Calmed him. And he told her this. “I’m sorry,” he added.

He was wearing his best apology, but not even that was enough. Not after all the times she had let him in, just for him to leave. Was it worth risking another heartbreak?

He knew every promise he had made in the past, he had also broken. Anything he could have said, she would have perceived as a lie.

“Can I come in?”

She didn’t answer but positioned herself in the middle of the doorway, a hand ready to smack that front door right in his face.

“Please.”

She adverted her eyes from his. His crystal eyes always made her weak. She needed strength.

“The last time I let you in, you shattered my grandmother’s porcelain vase.” Her words weren’t grudgeful or sad. They were light and heavy all at once. Just like the night’s summer air.

“I know,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

Again, he pleaded, “Will you let me in?”

She closed her eyes. The way her long lashes fluttered over her rosemary cheeks made the flame in his chest dance. “How long has it been this time?

“Four months.”

She scoffed. “How do I know I can trust you?”

He spoke so low even he couldn’t hear himself whimper, “That’s not fair.”

“Not fair?” She laughed, but her face twisted into a knot. She laughed, but tears streamed from both of her eyes. She laughed. She sobbed. And right before him, she was breaking. There was no where for her to hide or for him. No other reasons why, just the two of them.

He broke. He was at fault, he knew. And he knew he never wanted to be the reason she didn’t smile. Be the reason she cried. “I will never hurt you again,” he swore. “I’m done with that stuff for good.”

She collapsed to her knees. Her auburn hair fell before her face like branches of a willow, shielding herself from him. This is why he was surprised when he knelt down next to her and put his arm around her, that she folded into his chest. She gripped onto his shirt with her fists and cried so hard her entire body shook against his and her throat started to become raw. With a gasp for air she said, “This is the last time I’m asking you, put my name at the top of you list.”

“Of course.”

She calmed down slightly afterwards. Tears fell silently off the point of her chin and her heart still struggled to get back to its smooth rhythmic beat. Between hiccups she repeated, “This is the last time.”

He helped her to her feet.

“This is the last time.”

He lifted her so that her head rested in the nook between his head and his shoulder.

“This is the last time.”

He carried her in.

Spark

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It’s like my first winter
I’m happy and carefree
No one can bring me down
Because you keep me smiling
Just the thought of you
I am see-through

I think I like you
Not used to feeling the way I do
I think I like you
The sky has never been so blue before
I was walking in the dark
but not anymore.

No one understands me
Except when you’re around
It can’t be that crazy
How everything makes sense now
I know you feel it too
You are see-through

I think I like you
Not used to feeling the way I do
I think I like you
The sky has never been so blue before
I was walking in the dark

You were the fire to my spark
You brought my out with one simple remark

You said:
I kinda like you
No one makes me smile the way you do
I kinda like you
I am happier than I have ever been before
I was walking in the dark

But not anymore.

spark

Firefly

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I was realizing today that it has been 4 months since I have been out of the dark tunnel and into the light. I thought it was about time I shared that journey, into the right kind of love, with everyone.

I am going crazyFirefly
Somebody please save me from myself
I don’t want to make the same mistakes
I want to get it right
This time.
Because you deserve better than the hurt I bring
I want to keep you smiling
Maybe it’s best you stay away from me
But that’s not what my heart is asking.
Yeah, baby I am bad news
But I guess the choice is up to you…
Oh no, I am drowning
Somebody please save me from myself.
I know I am all screwed up
I don’t want to get you caught
In my mess
It’s either you set me free
Or get locked in this cage with me
Is it really worth the chance?
Because you deserve better than the hurt I bring
I want to keep you smiling
Maybe it’s best you stay away from me
But that’s not what my heart is asking.
Yeah, baby I am bad news
But I guess the choice is up to you…
I am going crazy
Are you going to be the one to save me?
Are you the lantern glowing in the dark night?
A firefly?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was their response:

Follow me here, there’s no need to fear
I’ll guide you through the night
And when your hope is low, don’t let it show
It’s just one small moment in time
Let that moment end tonight
I’ll be your firefly
Together we can burn bright.

Everything

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Also close to the rainy season, 40 degrees and...

It’s a new day
You’re still you
And you’re still a mystery to me
I can’t read into you.

It’s a new day
It’s the same me
But I’m feeling a bit differently
I’m wondering, I’m doubting
How you feel about me…

It’s the twinkle in your eyes
The way your heart races against mine
The fire burning inside of you…
You’re the sunshine in a black sky
The air I need to breathe or I die
You’re the water I drink
You’re everything I need…
So what am I to you?

It’s still the same kiss
Still the same hug
The electricity is not gone
And I ravish in your warmth.

It’s still the same love
And it’s growing
But I don’t know if you feel what I’m feeling
But it’s so amazing…
Then I, I wonder, what am I to you?

It’s the twinkle in your eyes
The way your heart races against mine
The fire burning inside of you…
You’re the sunshine in a black sky
The air I need to breathe or I die
You’re the water I drink
You’re everything I need…
So what am I to you?

Am I the color blue in your sky
The medicine you take?
Do I make you feel alive
Or am I just another mistake?

It’s the way you smile at me
The sound of you breath when you’re falling asleep
It’s the way you shine…
You’re a midnight sunrise
The unpredictable tide
You’re the rain pouring down on me
You’re everything I need.

So what am I to you?
What am I to you?
What am I to you?
What am I to you?

It’s the twinkle in you eyes
You’re the sun in a black sky
It’s the fire burning inside of you…
You’re the air I breathe or I die
The way you’re heart races against mine
You’re the water I drink
You’re everything to me.

Confession

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The words written on your lips
Were nothing but a murmur
When I read what they said
My heart stuttered
A response got caught inside my chest
I looked back at you, out of breath
When I saw your smile
Time slowed down
I could hear nothing
But the echo of my voice
Did you mean it?
Was all I could ask
You answered with a simple
Yes
Then my head went faint
And my heart sputtered back to life
I love you too
I replied