mental-health

Rabbit Hole

Standard

There’s a humming in my brain
A pounding in my chest
A ringing in my ear
From the voice that knows me best

And your eyes
Pull me into my demise.

Like glowing embers they burn
Around the center of gravity
Your black hole it pulls
Me into insanity
Here I go
Down the rabbit hole

There’s a scream inside my soul
A tie on my tongue
Heat rises in my bones
An alarm goes off in my lungs

And your eyes
Pull me into my demise

Like glowing embers they burn
Around the center of gravity
Your black hole it pulls
Me into insanity
Here I go
Down the rabbit hole

Can I be saved?
Can I escape?
From which vile should I drink?
Fill the glass to the brink
Will I ever wake from this dream?
Your illusions are so cunning

And your eyes
Pull me into my demise

Like glowing embers they burn
Around the center of gravity
Your black hole it pulls
Me into insanity
Here I go
Down the rabbit hole

A Stressed Poetic Vent

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There’s so many

Thoughts and feelings

I’m experiencing

Right now

And I’m trying my damnest

To get them all out

On to paper

And into words

Truth be told

I have no idea what’s going on

In my head

In my heart

I want to blame it on others

But for what?

Why am I so stressed

And upset?

Does it have anything to do with you

Or am I just imagining it?

That must be the answer

That it’s all in my mind

Because when I talk to  you

All is fine.

Then what is this panic in my lungs

The frustration

I am numb

with?

Is it all fabricated?

Why am I so dramatic,

What is wrong with me,

What is the source of these feeling

That are pilling into me?

Just write them down

Write them down

Let them all out

Once I am done I’ll have nothing to worry about.

But what if they don’t go away?

What if they lay inside

And start to decay

Rotting my insides

Day after day

How the hell

Am I supposed to live this way?

It’s Okay

It’s Okay

It’s all in your mind.

It’s Okay

It’s Okay

You just need a long night

rest

A good,  rested sleep

That’ll melt away the stress

The grime,

The death,

Be gone

Be gone

And never come back.

Disorder

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Bi-polar disorder are you my beholder?

Spinning tossing sinking into the sea

I’m falling.

….

I’m sinking not swimming help me I’m drowning

Sickness weakness is there a treatment

For me?

….

I don’t feel like a whole, twirling out of control

My emotions are in a frenzy, I’m not thinking clearly

….

Fuzzy Rusty I’m feeling a bit dizzy

Heartbeat retreat a little off beat

Today.

….

Anger monster here are my true colors

Second minute is there a difference?

Time is loose.

….

I don’t feel like a whole, twirling out of control

My emotions are in a frenzy, I’m not thinking clearly

….

Lost gone all is wrong

False pulse I give you my faults

I’ve cracked.

….

Rough tough I’ve had enough

Broken fallen my entire world is crumbling

Down.

Why do you do this to me?

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A song that I just wrote. Probably one of my most emotional ones in like forever. I was basically crying while writing this. So, thanks to Chester See who’s music inspired me to write this song which has been haunting me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought I was over you

I thought I was free

But when I saw your face

Smiling back at me

My wounds began to open

My heart beat too fast

I gripped onto his hand

And hoped the feeling wouldn’t last

*

{Chorus}

There’s a pit in my stomach

Growing with each passing second

My limbs begin to quiver and I’m sure I’m going to faint

I’ve acquired a fever and my body aches

I think I’m going to throw-up

Why do you do this to me?

*

When I saw you standing there

Your blue eyes looked at me

My heart began thumping wildly inside my chest

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t I can’t breathe.

*

{Chorus}

There’s a pit in my stomach

Growing with each passing second

My limbs begin to quiver and I’m sure I’m going to faint

I’ve acquired a fever and my body aches

I think I’m going to throw-up

Why do you do this to me?

*

I’m just trying to get it down on paper

I can’t explain

The effect you have over me

Every time I see you any progress that I have made has been erased

I can’t even think.

Why am I so darn weak?

*

I hate that I can’t let you go

I hate that I will never know

What we could have been.

I hate the way you smile

I hate how your eyes twinkle

But worst of all

I hate that he knows.

*

{Chorus}

There’s a pit in my stomach

Growing with each passing second

My limbs begin to quiver and I’m sure I’m going to faint

I’ve acquired a fever and my body aches

I think I’m going to throw-up

Why do you do this to me?

x2

*

Why can’t I let you go?

Years of rejection, you think I would know

How to finally move on

How to say goodbye

We no longer speak

But still, in your hands my heart lies.

       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~