#miscarriageawareness Part Two

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After my first miscarriage, I decided to really focus on my health again. I had gone through a few jobs and worked weird hours, but I was at the point where I could make fitness a constant part of my routine again, so I did. Before my wedding PIIT28 got me in shape, and I knew it could do it again.

Even after the move from South Carolina to Virginia, I made fitness a part of my daily routine. I was eating healthy meals, getting in my workouts, and fitting in additional exercise by walking around the lake. Even though it was a fun Spring, it was still very hard getting used to living in a new place and not having any friends. I was still trying to understand my feelings about the miscarriage, and was biding time until we could try for a baby again. I knew we had to wait. We wanted to wait. Until Kyle and I both had jobs.

Then, it was great lights.

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Damsel In Distress

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Damsel in distress

    I am leaning on you, my prince
Bathing in your light of happiness
I am still a broken, twisted mess
I’ve always been the damsel in distress
You may have slayed the dragon
Woken me with true love’s kiss
But I’ve already been shattered to pieces of glass
Such a silly little damsel in distress
You may be the sun warming my skin
My hope, my beacon
But I am a long way from being anything more than human
And I want to take this journey with you, my prince
Learn to heal and fix this mess I’ve become
Yes, I am ready to begin this test
So I can stop being a damsel in distress.

Rust Away

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I used to think sadness was love
That needing someone was the same as longing for their touch
I used to think I would never be good enough
For anyone because no one could make the sacrifices I was

Stuck outside, ready to rust away
When you came by, sheltered me from the rain
You looked in my eyes and said it would be okay.
And for the first time, I wasn’t worried.Rust Away

I used to believe pain was happiness
Because feeling anything was better than the emptiness
I used to believe I was destined for loneliness
Because no one would let me inside of them

I was stuck outside, ready to rust away
When you came by, sheltered me from
the rain
You looked in my eyes and said it would be okay.
And for the first time, I wasn’t afraid.

For the first time, I’m not alone.
For the first time, I have hope.
For the first time…
For the very first time…

I was stuck outside, ready to rust away
When you came by, sheltered me from the rain
You looked in my eyes and said it would be okay.

It had been all night, was sure I’d rust red
When you brought your light, taught me to shine instead
You took my heart inside of your hand
And for the first time I know what happiness is.

Take The Leap!

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Tried to let you go
Tried to move on
Never really could
Always held on
To the little amount of hope inside.

Tried to walk away
But my feet never moved
Tried to take a step
But cement was like glue
Always keeping my faith in you

{bridge}
Now here we are
And you’re just a kiss away from me
Never been more sure
Of what my heart was telling me

{chorus}
It’s screaming, “Take the leap.”
I ask it, “What If it breaks me?”
“We’ve been broken before
And we always bounce back
You’ve been waiting forever to take his hand,”‘
It screams, “Just take the leap!”

Texting on the phone
All night long
‘Till we fall asleep
At the sound of my ringtone ringing in my ear.

Wake up to the thought of you
And my face is flushed
Getting ready for the day
With a big smile on
Because I know you’ll text me soon.

{bridge}
Now here we are
And you’re just a kiss away from me
Never been more sure
Of what my heart was telling me

{chorus}
It’s screaming, “Take the leap.”
I ask it, “What if it breaks me?”
“We’ve been broken before
And we always bounce back
You’ve been waiting forever to take his hand,”
It screams, “Just take the leap!”

Falling down faster and faster
(take the leap)
The ground is getting closer and closer
(take the leap)
Will I fall? Will you catch me in your arms?
(take the leap)
Ah, who cares!

I’m going to take the leap
Don’t care if it breaks me
I’ve been broken before
And I always bounce back
I’ve been waiting a life-time just to hold your hand
I’m going to take the leap.