Wildest Dreams- Haunted: A Poem

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Dark clouds in my head

Rain cascades over my ribs

Salty and acidic

Eroding my bones

I am broken

Haunted

And so far gone lost.


I thought this would be a good poem for Wildest Dreams. A little side project I am working on. Read part of it here, a picture-it & write inspiration!

Falling To Pieces

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Falling to pieces
Falling to pieces
Falling to pieces
Falling to pieces

I am a broken puzzle
On the floor at your door
You left me there to
Pull myself together
But I don’t know how
These pieces fit
Now I am just useless

You build me up to knock me down
And I let it happen
I went along with your plan
Because I was too blind to see ahead
Everything that felt so right
Was wrong inside
How am I
Supposed to say goodbye?

Once upon a time
Not so long ago
You came into my life
And I felt your warmth
Now all that I have
Are the hallows
You ditched me in
To fend for myself

But I am just a foolish girl
Who never should trust this evil world
But I must believe there is life for me
No, I will not bleed at my seams

You build me up to knock me down
You knock me down
You knock me down
Why?
You build me up to knock me down
And I let it happen
I went along with your plan
Because I was too blind to see ahead
Even now when I know the truth
I would still follow you
I would still follow you

I’d follow you

I’m falling to pieces
I’m falling to pieces
I’m falling to pieces
I’m falling away

SAM_0479

For The Last Time

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The silence screams your name

Every where I turn I see your face

It feels like you’re haunting me

Because no matter where I go

Because every step I take

I cannot breathe

And you’re gone, you’re leaving

You said goodbye, now I’m bleeding

For the last time, for the last time

I give my heart away

Because it only breaks

Broken down, lifeless

I’ve lost the light, in the darkness

You reach out but my hand falls through yours

I hear your voice ringing in my mind

I can’t shake it out like water this time

When you say my name, when you say my name

I’m shaken again

Because you’re gone, you’re leaving

You said goodbye, now I’m bleeding

For the last time, for the last time

I give my heart away

Because it only breaks

Like meteors crashing down to earth

I’m falling

I’ve fallen so hard for you

And what was it worth?

What was it worth?

You’re eyes burn like fire

Attracting me to the flames

And you’re arms disguised as a safe haven

Where I only found shame

And you’re words, oh they sound so sweet

But you’re innocence ain’t gonna fool me any more

Can’t fool me any more

Because I’m gone, I’m leaving

This is my goodbye

I’m gone, I can’t keep bleeding

Because this is the last time

This is the last time

I’ll give away my heart

This is the last time

I’ll give away my heart

 

Broken Past (2008 Re-Write)

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Original written 6/28/08:
You didn’t talk to me when you said you would
You weren’t there for me, when you said you could be
You were never there for me
I was all alone
Didn’t have a home
And you found a way into my soul
Into my soul.

And the light’s turning black
I need to find away back out of your arms
Out of your arms.

I’m giving into you
‘Cause I know deep inside you love me too.
But you only push me away
I know you don’t want to make the same mistake
Again
But this is not the way to amend
Your broken past

You blame me for things you’ve done
You act so tough and push away everyone you love
I try to save you
Try to protect you
Even if you don’t do the same for me
You don’t do the same for me

And the light’s turning black
I need to find away back out of your arms
Out of your arms

I’m giving into you
‘Cause I know deep inside you love me too.
But you only push me away
I know you don’t want to make the same mistake
Again
But this is not the way to amend
Your broken past

You’re so torn up
But I need your pep talk
You’re not the only one
You’re not alone
We can save each other from our broken past

I’m giving into you
‘Cause I know deep inside you love me too.
But you only push me away
I know you don’t want to make the same mistake
Again
But this is not the way to amend
Your broken past

Re-Write:
You didn’t talk to me when you said you could
You weren’t there for me when you said you would be
You were never there for me
I was all alone
Didn’t have a home
And you found your way into my soul
Into my soul

And the light’s turning black
I need to find a way back out of your arms
Out of your arms

I cared for you
I know somewhere inside you did too
But you only pushed me away
I know you don’t want to make the same mistakes
Again
But this is not the way to amend
You’re broken past.

You blame me for things you’ve done
Act so tough and push away everyone you love
Push away, push away
I try to protect you, try to save you
But you don’t do the same for me
Push away, push away

And the light’s turning black
I need to find a way back out of your arms
Out of your arms

I cared for you
I know somewhere inside you did too
But you only pushed me away
I know you don’t want to make the same mistakes
Again
But this is not the way to amend
You’re broken past.

You’re so torn-up
Can’t even talk
But you’re not the only one
Why can’t you see?
You’re so messed-up
Ready to give up
But you’re not alone
I’ve always waited for you to come home

I cared for you
I know somewhere inside you did too
But you only pushed me away
I know you don’t want to make the same mistakes
Again
But this is not the way to amend
You’re broken past.

Disorder

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Bi-polar disorder are you my beholder?

Spinning tossing sinking into the sea

I’m falling.

….

I’m sinking not swimming help me I’m drowning

Sickness weakness is there a treatment

For me?

….

I don’t feel like a whole, twirling out of control

My emotions are in a frenzy, I’m not thinking clearly

….

Fuzzy Rusty I’m feeling a bit dizzy

Heartbeat retreat a little off beat

Today.

….

Anger monster here are my true colors

Second minute is there a difference?

Time is loose.

….

I don’t feel like a whole, twirling out of control

My emotions are in a frenzy, I’m not thinking clearly

….

Lost gone all is wrong

False pulse I give you my faults

I’ve cracked.

….

Rough tough I’ve had enough

Broken fallen my entire world is crumbling

Down.

Help Me

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Gather up

The broken pieces of my soul

Throw away

All my memories that are cold.

Put together

The puzzle of my heart

That was

Shattered by a dart.

Fix up

My lost sight

Help me

Find the quickly dimming light.

Whisper to

Me stories of endless love

Lie and

Say life isn’t tough.

Promise me

True love exists

Show me

The fireworks of the perfect kiss.

Give me

A rose without thorns

And cry

When there is no reason to mourn.

My Broken Memories

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So she sang to me
“My little Sunshine”
and you tell me
“I’ll love you all the time
Little girl don’t you fear
Your daddy will be right here
who’s that watching outside your window?
Daddy, that’s right you know”

bridge: then they handcuffed you and took you away
she gave me a kiss and said “I’m so sorry”

chorus: and the waves crashed down around me
and you kissed me softly
“Goodnight, I love you, goodnight”
the dark ripped at my heart
as a child I fell apart
do you even know?
the pain still threatens to show
my broken memories

As I grow older, stronger
you’ve somehow made me weaker
like I’m living in an endless winter
you use to say, together
we could melt the snow
but do you even know?
How I live in fear
Afraid, one day you’ll actually show
I’m a helpless deer
In the headlight of your vehicle

bridge: then they handcuffed you and took you away
she gave me a kiss and said “I’m so sorry”

chorus: and the waves crashed down around me
and you kissed me softly
“Goodnight, I love you, goodnight”
the dark ripped at my heart
as a child I fell apart
do you even know?
the pain still threatens to show
my broken memories

As I’m sprawled across the floor
It’s mom who find me here
Letters in my hands
and I won’t let them go
she asks, “Honey, what’s wrong?”
I’m trying so hard to hold on
How come you can always make me cry
even when you’re no where’s in sight?

Then I remember when

they handcuffed you and took you away
she gave me a kiss and said “I’m so sorry”

chorus: and the waves crashed down around me
and you kissed me softly
“Goodnight, I love you, goodnight”
the dark ripped at my heart
as a child I fell apart
do you even know?
the pain still threatens to show
my broken memories

You’re the nightmare I’m reliving

My broken memories

I still can’t listen to this song without crying.